Have you ever experienced being very happy? Have you ever experienced that your smile lines almost teared up because of laughing? Do you have Friends? Did they gave you a reason to be offended? Did you give them a reason not to trust you?
So here I am crying all over again. I was sad since yesterday until now, I am. I don't have a buddy to talk to at school so I kept this all by myself. Indeed it's better for me to leave John Paul for I know there is more hurt feelings I could get there and I could not concentrate to my studies. This is not my reason why I shifted nor transferred. This problem was rooted from the circle of friends from my previous school.
Nights, days, weeks, months I've been waiting for them to tell me the truth but until now, no one. So I was bombarded with too much emotions from it. Every night, every glimpse of their faces at facebook hurts so much so I decided to ask advices from my recent friends at school and also to my so called "BEST FRIENDS". And they have the same comments and feed-backs but I end up asking my friend way back in highschool, she was a kind of girl that frequently talks to God and this was the first time to ask her for advice,luckily she's online so I grabbed the chance to ask her yesterday. She have the same comments and feedback but she gave me a different advice. I didn't really followed her advice but it gave me a hint of what to do.
I don't what to publicized what the problem is, I still wanted it to be private since many people are involved.
I gave trust but I never expect trust to come back. Trust is an important element to all kinds of relationship.
But if you were in my shoes what will you do?
• You were blinded from a secret that your friends knew.
• You found out what the secret is.
• You confronted one of them as if you don't really know the truth.
• You failed. Instead you got ashamed since a lot of people saw your pale face because the one you confronted persisted that you're really wrong. And you feltembarrassment from the time when she used a lot of people for you to believe.
• You heard a lot of confirmations from other people and you knew it was true.
• You waited for a long time for them to tell you. But, No one.
WHAT WILL YOU FEEL ? WHAT WILL YOU DO?
I know there is limitations on everything but the fact that you already knew the truth and a lot of people knew it already aren't you feel bad?
So the hint brought to my mind made me a move to loosen up the feelings of being outcast. i emailed a friend who knows it and i told her that i feel bad about it.WHY. I' asking WHY? Am I not a good friend? Do you see me as a serpent? Am I not reliable?
I know how to understand but in this problem, I can't :(
I don't want to insist myself if you don't want me to. It's a mess on my part. So I decide to isolate myself although I've got a lot of friends but you were different. All of us are different, but since then, I've been hurt and I don't want to hear mean comments and apology. I want things jive with the flow, I don't want to make this story long anymore. I'm happy for you guys especially to the main person. Ahhmm. I don't think I can speak to you anymore pretty girl.
In my previous blog, I've written I visited John Paul. A lot of things changed, You friends especially the one I confronted. I don't want to talk more about her but she changed a lot from what I've seen before.
So I am enrolled at Davao Doctor's, this the start of the new beginning. Making new friends, having a lot of friends to mingle. I know it's not that easy but I would make it easier for me. I'll be me ! I'll put back the smile that I was wearing before.
I know someday you'll read this blog. I hope so. I'll keep my mouth shut when it comes to you guys, you know who i am talking about here, you're intelligent, I know you were.