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It is my Confession. It is me .

Friday, May 20, 2011

Updates.

I became so lazy on this blog. Just today I planned to start writing here again. It might help me to relieve the pain that I feel. Certainly, I can still feel pain since my heart is broken into pieces. I thought my love story is like a fairytale like those children stories that begins with a "Once upon a time" but it wasn't, this is reality and I forgot about it.


16th day of May, I went out with my boyfriend(Ex boyfriend,currently) to have a dinner. He let me keep his Sim card because he don't have any purse. We enjoyed the night a lot, we ate at Tita D'z, we went to the newly opened Mall (Abreeza Ayala Mall) we had so much fun, we are filled with smiles and laughter but I didn't knew about sadness. We went home we both didn't remember that he left something in me. I just remember it when I reached home.

Sim card, where he have all of his contacts they might be his friends, family, relatives or what-I don't have any idea! So i just started being so curious I used it and replied to all persons who have tested him but I pretended that I am Lance, they don't have any idea that it was me.. But here's a girl who's so sweet on texting, so she is my center of interest among them all and we came to the point he called me "MOK" so I therefore conclude that they are calling each other as "MOK" so I called him "Mok" also. Time by time I keep on asking questions, questions that are so queer. It was late at night so decided to sleep and I just nod on her to sleep.

Early in the morning I read her reply,

"MOK, NAA GUD KO'Y UYAB LAIN"
("Mok,I have another boyfriend"

I am very shocked to what I have read.. I kept on texting her in that early morning, I didn't ate my breakfast. It came to the point that she asked me.

"KINSA KA?I KNOW YOU ARE NOT LANCE FOR SURE"
(who are you?I know you are not Lance for sure")

ME: "AKO NI MOK OY!"
(This is me Mok!)

"REALLY?"

ME: "Yes"

"KASI NAG TEXT SI LANCE SA AKIN KAGABI NA GINAMIT NG BAYAW NIYA ANG KANYANG SUN SIM SO THEREFORE DILI KA SI LANCE, KINSA KA?"
 (Because  lance texted me lastnight that his brother-in-law used his Sun Sim, therefore you are not Lance, Who are you?"

ME: "Okay. Im Kath"

"KATH? MANGHUD NIYA?"
(Kath?His little sister?")

ME:"yes."

So I pretended to be my boyfriends' Lil sister, though it hurts so bad :'(

ME:"Ate when did you 2 started your relationship?"

"2 MONTHS AGO, MARCH 2"

[OUCH !]

I didn't reply for a while until I decided to tell her the truth...

ME:"Miss,I wont play any game to you anymore, I am not Lance lil sister nor his brother-in-law. I am his 1yr and 2 months girlfriend. Nice meeting you..."

"ARE YOU SURE KATH?"

ME: "Yes. Both sides of the family knew about it, my friends, his friends knows about it. I always go to their house and we are in good terms. I didn't knew that you'll come into our story."

"HE FOOLED ME, HE TOLD ME THAT HE DON'T HAVE ANY GIRLFRIEND, I CAN'T BELIEVE"

I called her so that she'll believe in me...

ME: "Hello?...Hello?"

"Hi. Are you sure to what you have said ?"

ME: "Yes. Everybody knew about it. Didn't he told you about me?"

"No. But he told me that he had a gf in Toril, are you from Toril?"

ME:" Yes. I am, what else?"

"He told me that you 2 broke up because yur parents are so strict."

ME:" Strict? he didn't even faced them, he was invited to have a dinner with them but he refused"

"I have been in there in their house once and I met his lil sister."
ME:"aa. Charmaine. and what did he said about you? did he said that you are his gf?"

"No. he said that I am one of his clanmate."

ME:"Fool. Did you have sex?"

"No."

ME:"That's good. We'll nice talking to you, I shall go and talk to him."

"To clarify, we didn't have sex."

ME:" Okay."

It hurts so much, I was grasping my every breathe and it feels like I'm nearly dying. I gave him everything Love,Lust,Money,Time,Effort,Trust and what else?
 I think he is the luckiest man on earth....And I am the fooled one..

I went to my best friend's house and cried all over again. The man I love, the man that I dreamed to marry, the man that I thought to be my happy ending, the Fairytale that I am dreaming of, I am the princess and he is my prince. Well, fairytale are for lil children and not for me, adult and here in realty. I am not inside the comic book to have it,,, Sad? Really sad.

So I went to their home. I didn't eat my breakfast nor my dinner either. When I arrived, he is still sleeping like a baby, I slap his face without second thought, I punched him, and when I was about going out in his room he attempted to stop me from going but I was able to shove him hardly that he landed into a bamboo chair unto the floor. I feel pity when I was looking at him but I stopped my self from helping him, i forced my self to go and cry outside because I don't want to see him being hurt because of what i did. So I hurriedly wen home with tears on my face with sadness in my heart.

He gave me too many explanations that I can't barely type here and share it with you but his main points in very texts,calls and explanations is that ..

"I am the only woman he love, that girl is just for fun and he didn't even love her and he wants to reconcile with me. Gave him a second chance and to assure that his loyalty will be mine that we'll be forever. And being with me until we grow old is what he wants."

While he was saying that I can't tell if it is true or not. He was crying every call, he sobs in tears and so am I..


I am in vague. I still love him and I don't know what to do, I don't want to get hurt once more but if its true I'll give him a chance. I love him. But now, we aren't back in each others arms, we still need to unwind and think....